16/1/2013

today, been scolded by my Moral lecturer.

because I was daydreaming during his class.

I smiled.

and nobody knows why. 

They laughed at me.

I smiled at them.

but I know my life doesn't goes on.

though I always been mentioning "Life Goes On Without You".

***********

trust

Do not expect people to Trust you if you yourself can't prove that you're trustworthy enough.
Because trust needs to be earned.

Lesson learned.

I've lost my trust in you.
You made me lost my direction
and I don't know how to trust people now.

Maybe I'm way too negative thinking recently.
Is just the situation I face everyday drive me crazy.
every once I was alone in the room, I feel lonely.
Loneliness is scary.

I was thinking to go gym everyday.
I wanted to sweat so that I could release my tension all this while.
emmm...
Going on for a vacation is good for me too now
though just few days.
But with the bunch of friends, I'll be happier than caging myself in this little room.
Let's start it this weekend (:
since Sunday it's a holiday.
Gonna rock my weekend with Them <3
***************

Smile

A smile can hide so many of my feelings,
no matter is fear, sadness or even heartbreak...

yet, it shows one other thing,
strength (:

Life goes on without you.

we're good.
I am good.
Hope you're good anyhow..
though far away from us.

I dislike hatred.
it's a tiring job.
I want to be a happy kid.
Nothing else matters.
really.
***********
I laugh to hide the pain.
***********
thanks for your caring, people,  it's warm (:
***********

犯贱

人永远都是那么犯贱.
当自己决定了要用真心对待别人,
最后得到的是什么?
**************

Parasite.

money is the killer.

been promised to myself not to post anything selfish and unhappy in my blog
so I abandoned it for months.

but tonight, I experienced the so-called "heart has broken into pieces"

because of
‘你花的都是别人的钱’.

by the one I respect so much,
love so much,
cause I know she has contribute her everything to this family.
her youth.
trying to be her happy and obedient child everyday,
no matter how hard I tried,
I lose.
I lose.

no one understands what's the feeling I experience now.
-- feeling like a Parasite.
with no earning and dependent on siblings and parents.

relative been posted old photo when we were small.
we were happy family with no worries, no burden.
I miss that.I do.

we grew up.now.
and that
这间家越来越少人.
I hate.
I hate.

tonight, I am tired.
mentally and emotionally.
*************
I know,
crying can't solve my problem.
I am human.
I need to release my emotion.
I just need a shoulder to cry on.
**********
I promise.

I will be good as the usual me...
*******

13/9/12

the campus has organized Raya celebration and the closing ceremony for National Day celebration.
things went on as usual, as it used to be.
with choir, stage play, recitation of poetry, singing, play of video, etc.
the day ended with Raya celebration,,
and everyone got to eat together.
ate under the rain.
which was the part that I dislike.
it was not grand anymore.

every year, during this event,
i can easily recognize who is the bf for her and who is the gf for him.
those couple will wear the same colour clothes.
they will dress up really nicely.
boys with neat baju Melayu, girls with make-up on + bling bling dresses.

taking photo session was going on this whole day.
everywhere in the hall.
************
when a boy has two FB account, means what?
he started to get active in another account that he did not add you as his friend nowadays,
when you lost contact with him for months.
means what?
he has secret?he lied?he was hiding from you?he......
the only thing that you know at this moment is that.
he is not single anymore.

he will not be the only choice for you,
he is an impossible.
give up on him and you'll get more choices out there.
If and only if it's so easy to give up...
*************
我希望我一觉可以睡到小时候.
no worries, no hard feelings, no suffer, no tricks,
easy and simple life.
with pure and innocent thinking.
************
night world :)

The Me

has been long time Me never drop by here.
My blog is dead.
Not a clue, anyway.
******
feel like writing something at this hour, in this cold weather.
who cares what thing, just something or anything not interesting.
my life back to here is bored.
meet her everyday make us suffer.
our conversation in a day will surely be her.
what to do.
hate a person is tired.
**********
busy life get on now.
assignments, presentations, BIG, Sport Carnival, and finally comes to exam.
what kind of life is this?
***********
Me sick of pretending to be happy here.
really sick of it.
***********
teach me how to get rid of this feeling.
I miss him at this hour too.
************