Friday, December 28, 2012


money is the killer.

been promised to myself not to post anything selfish and unhappy in my blog
so I abandoned it for months.

but tonight, I experienced the so-called "heart has broken into pieces"

because of

by the one I respect so much,
love so much,
cause I know she has contribute her everything to this family.
her youth.
trying to be her happy and obedient child everyday,
no matter how hard I tried,
I lose.
I lose.

no one understands what's the feeling I experience now.
-- feeling like a Parasite.
with no earning and dependent on siblings and parents.

relative been posted old photo when we were small.
we were happy family with no worries, no burden.
I miss that.I do.

we grew
and that
I hate.
I hate.

tonight, I am tired.
mentally and emotionally.
I know,
crying can't solve my problem.
I am human.
I need to release my emotion.
I just need a shoulder to cry on.
I promise.

I will be good as the usual me...

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